2020 has been different to say the very least with Covid 19 that has plagued the world. A couple of viruses of a different kind infiltrated our family in human form. Before Christmas last year, a not so nice person left our lives – or so we thought – then they came slithering back in January. Another, even more disturbing, person left our lives in January. One back in. One out. In and Out. In and Out. Now listen, we are no better than anyone on God’s green earth – different – but no better. However, when you harm someone whether it be physically or mentally – that is where the difference is comes in – at least for me.
I have witnessed manipulation at it’s finest in the last eight months. These viruses have caused a heavy strain within our family. Covid 19 caused us to not gather in March or April for Family Dinners while we took back our ritual in May. One of the viruses has caused one family member to not gather around my dinner table for the past eight going on nine months. The other virus has helped contribute to Family Dinners being suspended indefinitely and quite possibly bringing an end to monthly dinners all together. How do three viruses have so much control? One unseen and two others infiltrating their hosts causing much seen and unseen destruction.
Just like with Covid 19, you must wash your hands to protect yourself and your own. Hopefully, one day we can be one complete family again – virus free.
So much has changed over the course of four years….. it is life.
As I scrolled back reading my original post on our Family Dinners and how they got started, it makes my heart sink knowing what we had and quite possibly won’t have again. When my Daddy was here – certain behaviors were not tolerated nor were they attempted. There was a line expected to be walked.
A quote from my Family Dinner post “Take the time to make family a priority. In this day and age, we make everyone else who mean less to us a priority. Family is forever”.
The full post is through the link below ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️
How many attempts does one make at no response to reaching out with messages, texts, phone calls, etc. before you just stop?
I started this piece in the end of June…… writing to get my thoughts out. Writing to help myself. Writing to heal myself. Writing to wrap my mind around the disbelieve that our family has disbanded. And, here we are at the end of August.
I will never understand how complete disregard of others in a family unit makes it ok to not care about the impact and toll of the sum of the unit as a whole. I have, however, learned that no matter how much I do for everyone – running here, there, one place to the next, making M leave her own events early to rush to another for someone else, not doing the things I wanted to do for myself for the betterment and good will of others, buying, sending, giving, preparing, doing, going, defending, standing up for and beside, behind and in front of only to be left hanging, dangling alone reaching out only to be left in silence. The silence is deafening.
Each day we pray for healing of our family and that the fourth virus is eradicated from our family – the devil himself.
John 10:10 – “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
The devil has destroyed our family for the time being but my God is stronger and GW & I have placed this in His hands prayerfully. For my own wellbeing – I have to let it go. Do I miss them? To say yes is an understatement. However, if the feeling isn’t mutual – there isn’t a thing in this world I can do about that and that is what I have came to the realization and grips of and will move forward accordingly.
I’m so sorry. Sometimes the best thing really is to “let go and let God.”
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