Dear Mom, Day 15

It’s been 15 days since you went home to be with our Lord & Savior. Fifteen days since you went to be with Daddy whom you’ve missed sorely for the last 3,095 days.

I found myself today while prepping for dinner figuring up how much extra to prepare for you as well. And then it dawned on me that I will no longer be sending “leftovers” to you for the week ahead. I texted Michelle this –

Have you caught yourself yet prepping food counting out items to make sure there is extra for mom? I just did….

#leftovers

Her reply – I found a gift I had bought her for Christmas LAST year in a tote… bluh.

As much as I freaking miss you – I am so very happy for you. To know that you are whole without any ailments whatsoever let alone a broken heart makes me so very happy for you. I know that Daddy is really happy to have you by his side again.

Cindy texted me last night asking if Gregory worked today and I told her yes. She asked if I was up for having coffee this morning by meeting her in the mausoleum at The Garden. You know her mother’s in the mausoleum and you’re just right outside with Daddy and the rest of the family.

She had everything ready when I arrived. The couch pulled over in front of her mom, grandfather, and grandmother. Stanley thermos like Daddy carried to work filled with coffee, four white cups with a little cardinal on the tip of the handle, two kinds of flavored syrups • white chocolate and cupcake • coffee stirrers and napkins. She poured a cup for her mom and one for you placing them together by her mom. Before I left the house, she texted me asking me to bring creamer. She wasn’t happy because she forgot and needed me to bring it and used your least favorite word. She brought two GORGEOUS quilts her sister made for us to cover with as the mausoleum is quite chilly in the fall and winter. We sat and talked about your home going and her mother’s. She was thankful that we allowed her to come see you on that Thursday. I’m thankful she asked to come.

We walked to the top of the hill to visit with Sean. It’s hard to believe he will be gone thirty-seven years in January. He was such a good friend to so many. Gone too soon.

The holidays will be different for sure but they have been for the last 8 1/2 years since Daddy went home to be with Jesus. I can’t even imagine what a birthday celebration it must be in Heaven. I’m so excited for you to be a part of it all.

Gregory left work early on Saturday and took us to eat in Huntington. We went to Hobby Lobby and purchased a couple of new pieces of Christmas decor. McKenzie and I got a little excited to decorated which kind of surprised us both. You know how much she loves the house decorated for Christmas. We will begin November 1st as per her request.

It’ll be different from here on but we will continue just like you did after the loss of your mom and dad. Just like Daddy did after the loss of Grandma Lena Belle. Except for us and the rest of our family it was sadly changed forever after that event wasn’t it. But I promised you that I will never let anything come between me and my brother. I will protect him just as you did and maybe just a little bit harder because I am so fiercely protective over my little brother. I don’t care if he is 50 years old.

Today I found myself in the mood to cook again I honestly haven’t cooked in probably a month. This evening I am making Gregory and McKenzie Ann grilled chicken, roasted potatoes and broccoli. I also made McKenzie a veggie pizza. And, I made a cheese ball (in a pie plate like I always do as it’s much easier to serve as you know) to take to work tomorrow for snacky snacks. I texted the girls and Karlita replied with she’s bringing a pumpkin roll she purchased at her granddaughter’s fall carnival.

Linda Kay texted me checking in. She misses you terribly as we all do. She drove home from Columbus last weekend and Jodi said to her – now you don’t have Linda to talk you home anymore. I can’t imagine the silence for her as you two talked more than anyone else about nothing and everything. I told her that even though I have your phone, I’ll never go through your messages. I don’t even like going through your mail. I feel like I’m invading your privacy just paying bills. So know that no way in this world am I ever reading your texts. Promise.

Ann is in the air right now on her way back from Florida. We plan on going up and seeing their new house in Wellston this week or at least the weekend while Gregory is off. The time changes next Sunday, which you never did like anyway.

If McKenzie doesn’t get in gear and get her trip to Paris booked, I’m not sure if she’s gonna get to go, but it’s all up to her. I’m not gonna force it. You taught me that.

I got my thank you notes out in the mail yesterday. I have a meeting with our attorney on Wednesday. Thank you for leaving everything the way that you did. I had no doubt that you wouldn’t.

Ann just texted the word • landed. So she’s safe and back in Ohio.

I found a penny in the parking lot at Aldi today. The first since you left. Thank you.

Now when I light my prayer candle, I say • I love you both. Eight and a half years it’s been • I love you, Daddy. And when I blow it out, I just say • Good Night. I know you hear me.

Writing to you this way, feels good. A release. Words to look back on later. Sometimes I look back on my pieces and think – I wrote that? Dang. I’m sure I will do that with these.

So until then – I love you more. PG